By Tim Urban, http://waitbutwhy.com/2016/09/marriage-decision.html?utm_source=List&utm_campaign=81b09a85be-Marriage_Decision_09_01_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5b568bad0b-81b09a85be-51770449&mc_cid=81b09a85be&mc_eid=e25f08ef06
There’s not really any normal way to start a relationship. Some people go on a date, and then another date, and then another, and one day it’s just clear to both of them that they’re in a relationship. Some people start seeing each other, but they keep things black and white until a “So are we doing this?” conversation makes it official. Sometimes a platonic friendship forms first and tension builds under the surface until an unexpected kiss lights the friendship on fire.
Society, in most parts of the world, doesn’t like when a relationship lasts too long. To society, a relationship is simply a testing ground—an incubator that prepares you for The Decision. And if too many years go by in a relationship without The Decision being made, society decides that something must be wrong. To help right the wrong, society will begin to apply pressure on the couple, from all angles. Not only the society. You yourself, your life and your future will apply pressure on to you: you must answer a question – how you will make your life? Sometimes you need to make a decision!
Relationships are impossibly complicated. And making a black-and-white binary decision about something that’s anything but black-and-white is kind of an insane thing to do.
And of course, even if it’s the right system, it’s not actually easy because assessing step 1 and step 2 aren’t easy. Getting a reading from your gut that you can trust is no small task for someone who typically lives in their brain—and figuring out what your deal-breakers are requires a serious deep-dive into your soul.
Everyone before to make a decision should read this paper and make the thinking! I.V.